The Gazeebo

A Poet's Place

The Gazeebo: A Time of Mourning, a Moment of Silence

Hey all!

I felt that I needed to take a moment of silence while writing this piece in order to let people heal a little bit, but in this time of mourning, I also feel the need to get a little bit of a feeling of love and caring out so people definitely don’t feel alone as they deal with the tragedies of the explosions in Boston and the fertilizer plant over near Waco. This poem doesn’t really touch on Waco, but the overall sentiment that I wanted to get across is no less significant in relation to Waco.

Anyway, here’s the poem. I hope you enjoy! 🙂

What Good is a Day; Hold Them a Little Tighter

Jesse McDowell Lungren

What good is a day when you find feathers

lying on the ground, blood spattered

while Spring petals fall?

 

I woke up today,

What seemed a rather ordinary day.

Checks to pay taxes were in the mail,

and so was the package for my sister –

She turned 19.

I stepped outside to notice more buds had bloomed; pretty pink, yellow and white. As I came back inside to peruse through the activity of friends, a question caught my eye –

“What happened in Boston?”

The response – at the finish line of the Boston Marathon, two explosions went off leaving at least

2 dead, 17 injured,

2 dead, 23 injured,

2 dead, 21 injured,

2 dead, [ ] injured.

 

And I think, what do the numbers matter, when innocent lives are lost? What do they matter, when innocent people are hurt as they go about their lives? At the end of the day, everyone is affected; the ones who had the hate in their hearts to commit atrocities, the ones who will never breath again, the ones who lost their limbs, the ones who will not be able to un-see or stop hearing what went down, the ones who rushed to the scene to help, the ones who donated blood for the victims, the ones too far away and unable to help. And I think about the families who will never see their family members again; they will never be able to say “I love you” or hear it from them again, they will never be able to hear the stories they had or watch them make their own stories, they will never hold them tight and tell them everything will be alright. And with that, I think about my own family and despite the fact I sit here writing this now, I love them with all my heart and I try and make sure I show them every day; and I think about every person I’ve ever met, how despite their feelings or their actions toward me I wish them the best in life, how every friend, crush, bully, and acquaintance that has passed through my life is more important and significant alive than dead any day and how I would never wish the latter upon them. And I think about “Hello Herman” and the hope to end violence by just treating people a little nicer; what a wonderful sentiment, how in the subject of a school shooting, though the in-show protests involved and some of the comments within focused on guns and the effect of video games, the show’s defining message did not. And I hope that if more school violence occurs, people decide to finally listen to those who did the crime; though what they did will always be horrible, at least then maybe the public will finally know that there’s a hell of a lot more to anything than what is seen and assumed on the surface. And as the events of April 15, 2013 in Boston play out, I would like to hope that those who rushed in to the scene to help stop the bleeding of those who lost their limbs and those who continued to run after they finished their marathon to go donate blood are remembered more than the criminals involved.

 

Above all, my wish for humankind is to just treat people a little better; whether you barely know them or know them more than anyone, treat them like they count and they matter in this world because everyone does. And I also wish that everyone who still has someone to hold, you take a moment every day to hold them a little tighter, and tell them you love them because life doesn’t wait for these moments to happen and any day can suddenly be too late.

© Jesse McDowell Lungren

April 20, 2013 Posted by | Your Lungren Originals | , , , , | 1 Comment

The Gazeebo: Hello Herman

Hey all!!  I’ve been pretty busy lately with ushering for a show called “Hello Herman” over at my college.  It has some pretty intense subjects regarding bullying and school violence, among others (a show that I wouldn’t recommend to children).  Well, here’s something (that I’m not sure if I can legitimately call a poem) that I wrote due to some feelings that came up in relation to the show:

[UNTITLED]

Jesse McDowell Lungren

Hello, my name is Jesse – also known throughout my life as Jessica, Fatso, Nerd, Teacher’s Pet, Freak, Wimp, Snitch, and Tattle-Tale.

Also, I’d like to introduce you to a few people who themselves have survived years of bullying, emotionally, physically, and verbally.

Have you personally ever been bullied, or experienced any school violence?  Have you ever been made fun of for your weight and when you tried to fix it, you made a step forward and then, as the bullying continued, two steps back because, outside your parents who were unable to help you, the only comfort you had was the food that caused you to become overweight?  Have you ever tried going to a teacher or had a parent or friend go to a teacher?  Have you experienced what happens when you do – the counseling, the fact it’s never anonymous, how no matter how hard you try to make it better, it just gets worse?  Are you willing to spend a day in the shoes I had to wear for twelve and a half years – going to school at the age of five to just learn and make friends and instead get tormented by people who didn’t know any other way how to treat people, get treated like you’re a loser, and then get ignored by almost everyone else, and then finally being able to go home and escape it all, try to be happy and talk to your parents about it all, and then cry yourself to sleep every night?  And then, after those twelve and a half years, are you willing to deal with the fact that you don’t know how to deal with the most natural social interaction without feeling uncomfortable, deal with a rollercoaster of emotions that go along with depression, and then walk down the street with the constant feeling that people are watching you and judging you.  You say, “just wait, you’ll be the boss of all of them when you grow up” or “it’s fine, you’ll find friends – it just takes time” or “do ‘this’ and ‘that,’ and it’ll end.”  Put on my shoes, you do all that bullshit – you try to “just wait,” you try to go do “this” and “that,” and then survive it all.  Then and only then, you can call yourself an expert; because until you go through the shit and change things for the better, you can go fuck yourself.

For us all, we’re experts in our own way – because we all are able to stand up and try and help those who are being bullied, while still being very awake and accepting of the fact that there’s no clear answer to stopping it – in fact, there’s no answer to a lot of questions regarding being bullied because every situation is unique.  But, at the end of the day, we’re still standing here for when you need a shoulder to cry on, a hug when no one else will offer, a willingness to catch you as you’re falling, and a hand up if you’re unable to get up on your own.

© Jesse McDowell Lungren

April 5, 2013 Posted by | Your Lungren Originals | , , , | Leave a comment

   

%d bloggers like this: