The Gazeebo

A Poet's Place

The Gazeebo: Hello Herman

Hey all!!  I’ve been pretty busy lately with ushering for a show called “Hello Herman” over at my college.  It has some pretty intense subjects regarding bullying and school violence, among others (a show that I wouldn’t recommend to children).  Well, here’s something (that I’m not sure if I can legitimately call a poem) that I wrote due to some feelings that came up in relation to the show:

[UNTITLED]

Jesse McDowell Lungren

Hello, my name is Jesse – also known throughout my life as Jessica, Fatso, Nerd, Teacher’s Pet, Freak, Wimp, Snitch, and Tattle-Tale.

Also, I’d like to introduce you to a few people who themselves have survived years of bullying, emotionally, physically, and verbally.

Have you personally ever been bullied, or experienced any school violence?  Have you ever been made fun of for your weight and when you tried to fix it, you made a step forward and then, as the bullying continued, two steps back because, outside your parents who were unable to help you, the only comfort you had was the food that caused you to become overweight?  Have you ever tried going to a teacher or had a parent or friend go to a teacher?  Have you experienced what happens when you do – the counseling, the fact it’s never anonymous, how no matter how hard you try to make it better, it just gets worse?  Are you willing to spend a day in the shoes I had to wear for twelve and a half years – going to school at the age of five to just learn and make friends and instead get tormented by people who didn’t know any other way how to treat people, get treated like you’re a loser, and then get ignored by almost everyone else, and then finally being able to go home and escape it all, try to be happy and talk to your parents about it all, and then cry yourself to sleep every night?  And then, after those twelve and a half years, are you willing to deal with the fact that you don’t know how to deal with the most natural social interaction without feeling uncomfortable, deal with a rollercoaster of emotions that go along with depression, and then walk down the street with the constant feeling that people are watching you and judging you.  You say, “just wait, you’ll be the boss of all of them when you grow up” or “it’s fine, you’ll find friends – it just takes time” or “do ‘this’ and ‘that,’ and it’ll end.”  Put on my shoes, you do all that bullshit – you try to “just wait,” you try to go do “this” and “that,” and then survive it all.  Then and only then, you can call yourself an expert; because until you go through the shit and change things for the better, you can go fuck yourself.

For us all, we’re experts in our own way – because we all are able to stand up and try and help those who are being bullied, while still being very awake and accepting of the fact that there’s no clear answer to stopping it – in fact, there’s no answer to a lot of questions regarding being bullied because every situation is unique.  But, at the end of the day, we’re still standing here for when you need a shoulder to cry on, a hug when no one else will offer, a willingness to catch you as you’re falling, and a hand up if you’re unable to get up on your own.

© Jesse McDowell Lungren

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April 5, 2013 - Posted by | Your Lungren Originals | , , ,

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